Tears, why do you soak my pillows so?
Cascading down my cheeks in the dark,
This begotten hour.
Yet lightly they do not come,
For the hope is strong, though the risks are high.
Heart, why do you doubt, why do you fear?
The count of days have barely begun,
Yet dread already lurks in the darkness.
Love, dare I say, dare I proclaim.
Let it be spilt, let it be known.
For in you I see forever,
though the odds seem never in our favour.
My love, my darling,
Words I have yet to speak.
Though I weep, though I fear,
I stand firm in what I have decided.
For how do you deny something so natural?
Sleep, may it take me.
For this night has had too many an hour.
Falling into its gentle abyss,
Cloak me with its soft lull.
Into its comfort, forgotten is the pain.
Friday, 18 December 2015
Thursday, 17 December 2015
I Wish.
I knew it. Could see it coming. How could I have such a long run of happiness and joy without anything messing me up? It isn't like me. It was weird. Way too strange.
But where do pent up emotions go? The frustrations of almost 10 years, rapidly growing sick and tired of the bullshit I have to endure. Nothing has changed, nothing at all. Why are my opinions only necessary and needed when you want them? When all of you want them? I wish I could help. I do. I wished we didn't have to pointlessly spend 3 hours trying to figure out what was wrong. I wish. And I could. But there was no chance.
Stubbornness. Denial.
Stupidity and immaturity can be taught, can be cured. But how do you cure stubbornness, for those in refusal to accept or even attempt the suggestions given? How can the place, the people that are supposed to bring me peace be the only ones to repeatedly push me off the edge? This is not sanctuary. This is hell.
I wish I could talk. I wish I could vent. But I wish not to be a pain nor a burden.
What have I gotten you into? A train wreck of emotions? I wish you didn't know. But then again, I wish you do, the least I could do is let you know who exactly, WHAT exactly I am.
Contradictions, yet all true.
So I toss and I turn. Afraid, angry. I will free myself. Because beneath the beautiful, there is hurt, there is pain.
But where do pent up emotions go? The frustrations of almost 10 years, rapidly growing sick and tired of the bullshit I have to endure. Nothing has changed, nothing at all. Why are my opinions only necessary and needed when you want them? When all of you want them? I wish I could help. I do. I wished we didn't have to pointlessly spend 3 hours trying to figure out what was wrong. I wish. And I could. But there was no chance.
Stubbornness. Denial.
Stupidity and immaturity can be taught, can be cured. But how do you cure stubbornness, for those in refusal to accept or even attempt the suggestions given? How can the place, the people that are supposed to bring me peace be the only ones to repeatedly push me off the edge? This is not sanctuary. This is hell.
I wish I could talk. I wish I could vent. But I wish not to be a pain nor a burden.
What have I gotten you into? A train wreck of emotions? I wish you didn't know. But then again, I wish you do, the least I could do is let you know who exactly, WHAT exactly I am.
Contradictions, yet all true.
So I toss and I turn. Afraid, angry. I will free myself. Because beneath the beautiful, there is hurt, there is pain.
Wednesday, 9 December 2015
Bliss.
Yes, I do like the Nestle yoghurt drink with the same name quite abit too, but that isn't exactly what I was referring to.
It's been awhile. For many good reasons. I was beginning to think I entirely lost my ability to write for fun. I never realised it but I'm starting to understand just how easily influenced I am. A slight prompt. But no, I'm not complaining. This is quite fun, actually. But for old time's sake and the fact that I ramble better in rhymes and shorter phrases, this, too is for you.
Words I'll never say
You wouldn't catch me,
Not a thousand days,
But here, tired yet wide awake,
Thinking, letting today replay.
Darling, a nickname never to be uttered,
Yet in my heart I'll constantly mutter,
Impossible as this may clearly seem,
Like how you fell flat, in a dream.
We both see, into the distant future,
Of screeching planes and airport stutter,
I'll let tears flow free, forget every other,
Arms wrapped tightly, in disbelief and wonder.
If only autumn leaves fell slow,
Time would wait, "later" is fine to see the snow.
Depths I find in your eyes,
Imploring me to be kind.
This hope I wish we both will share,
Of intertwined fingers, and old rocking chairs.
Whether church bells ring, we won't now know,
But in a distant future, I hope love will grow.
It's been awhile. For many good reasons. I was beginning to think I entirely lost my ability to write for fun. I never realised it but I'm starting to understand just how easily influenced I am. A slight prompt. But no, I'm not complaining. This is quite fun, actually. But for old time's sake and the fact that I ramble better in rhymes and shorter phrases, this, too is for you.
Words I'll never say
You wouldn't catch me,
Not a thousand days,
But here, tired yet wide awake,
Thinking, letting today replay.
Darling, a nickname never to be uttered,
Yet in my heart I'll constantly mutter,
Impossible as this may clearly seem,
Like how you fell flat, in a dream.
We both see, into the distant future,
Of screeching planes and airport stutter,
I'll let tears flow free, forget every other,
Arms wrapped tightly, in disbelief and wonder.
If only autumn leaves fell slow,
Time would wait, "later" is fine to see the snow.
Depths I find in your eyes,
Imploring me to be kind.
This hope I wish we both will share,
Of intertwined fingers, and old rocking chairs.
Whether church bells ring, we won't now know,
But in a distant future, I hope love will grow.
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